An Emotional and Mushy Post About Life & Waffles
Long emotional and mushy post about life and waffles: For those of you that know me, you know that I eat waffles a lot. For those of you that know me extremely well, you will know that chocolate chip waffles are one of my obsessions. May 3rd 2017 I ate my last plate of chocolate chip waffles from ECC. I boarded the train and left campus, passing the Bridgewater State University sign my heart began to sink and I realized that as much as I wanted to escape this university, as much heartache as I had faced since coming here, as much as I thought I would be extremely relieved to leave this place I actually felt very sad.
I tried to fit in and find my place on campus through involvements and trying way too hard to make and keep friends. I joined Greek life, and as much as I tried, being 28 in a sorority wasn't as appealing as I thought it would be, so I left after 1 semester. I also joined PC which was great in 2015 but as the semesters passed and new members were added I began to realize that I didn't fit in as much as I thought I did, I was different and changing. I also tried the "party" scene and took part in things that I never thought I would. I drank, a lot, mainly to stop feeling. The last time I drank I got drunk, black out drunk to the point where I had 2 severe asthma attacks. If it weren't for one of my best friends I don't know where I would be because that night I truly thought that I wasn't going to wake up.
Even though I didn't find my exact place on campus I did find my "tribe", my family, my people that will always be my forever friends. I found my strength, I found my courage, I found my voice, I found my assertiveness that was hidden under so many smiles and "yes's" that I really wanted to be "No's". I found a way to move on when it seemed as though others around me were staying and stuck in their college drama and petty fights. Through everything, I learned to embrace each day as a new one and to leave all of the shit in the past. I learned that if something or someone makes me unhappy that it's okay to leave, it's okay to stop being friends with someone, it's okay to not say hi to someone just because you know them because in all reality neither of you really care that much for one another.. or in my case they don't care much for me. I have learned that when I surround myself with people who are as open-minded as I am, headstrong as I am, mature as I am and free-spirited as I am that, that is when I will be truly happy and free to express myself.
I feel as though I hadn't taken advantage of everything that Bridgewater had to offer. Yes I studied abroad and yes I joined organizations that I thought I should, but I was in such a small bubble that I forgot about the other 80+ organizations on campus, other study abroad programs, other research projects and other people that I could have been friends with.
Now I leave you with this: Whether you are in your 1st year, 4th year, 10th year or 11th year of college make it your own and do what YOU want to do, not what is expected of you. Join an organization or don't. Study abroad or don't (but really you totally should). Take that class that no one likes because maybe, just maybe you will. Break out of your shell and audition for something you never thought you would. Talk to that shy girl next to you, because her story might be incredible and she could become your best friend. What I have learned in my 28 years on this earth is that no one really cares what you do, it only matters who you are and how you treat others. Be nerdy, be preppy, be shy, be kind, be giving, be vulnerable and be loving. As long as you are a good person, then nothing else matters. So just be you, no label or box made image.