MBA

PERSONAL

Don't Sleep With a Man On The First Date

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Don't sleep with a man on the first date.

This concept should be a lot easier than we make it out to be. It should be simple and something that we can easily remember.

If it's your first date, don't invite him inside and don't go to his apartment (or house).

Even though I have been told "If he gets the milk for free he won't buy the cow" almost a hundred times I still have found reasons to pass the traditional route when dating. I have found myself placed in this strange position wanting to feel a stronger connection with a man and still somehow have a dating relationship after he has finally as my Babcia would say "received my milk".

There is a lot of controversy around sleeping with men on the first date. Half of the articles that I found stated that sleeping with a man on the first date is an acceptable thing to do. The other half stated that men will lose respect for you, and the relationship won't go anywhere.

If I think back on the dates that I have had and how quickly the relationship progressed I notice one clear pattern, sex was almost always involved. Not that I have dated a lot of men but the ones that I have dated it has almost always led to sex or sexual conversations. Sleeping with a man isn't just about the physical aspect but also a mental and emotional one as well. When we have sex with someone (as a woman) there is a chemical released in our brains that allows us to have feelings for that person, to start to feel something that may not be there.

... You meet a man and have an amazing connection with him. You send flirty texts back and forth and exchange an obnoxious amount of winky face emojis. Eventually you make plans to meet up. You have a nice date filled with actual conversation, not small talk(which is something you've always hated). After the date he walks you home and instead of parting ways for the night you invite him inside.

After your night together your stomach begins to churn and your thoughts start racing a million miles a minute. Is he going to call? Did he enjoy it? Does he still respect you? Will he ask you out again?

You are left with nothing, no mystery and no passion. Instead of working up to sex you jumped right in and because of this you have hit a dead end. Sometimes the men in this situation will still call you and text you, but is it ever the same? I think not.

He doesn't have anything to look forward to and the mystery is gone. You should be building up to sex not giving it away on the first date.

I have had this happen to me and after realized that I could have done things differently. Sex shouldn't be about respect that a man has for you but instead the respect that you have for yourself. We shouldn't be sitting in our beds staring at our phones waiting for them to alert us that we have a text message. We shouldn't be wondering why he hasn't called or text us for over a week. We shouldn't have to ask our friends for advice.

Relationships can be so much easier than we make them out to be. They can be fun, dating can be adventurous.

From now on I'm going to take the romance and adventure and hold on the sex.