30 Deep Lessons that I've Learned in 30 Years
A few months ago I was out with some friends and I stopped dancing when the realization hit me that I was turning 30, so I said dramatically “You guys I only have 4 more months left in my 20’s”. Of course this sent me into a panic that made me party hard, change jobs, and change my lifestyle.
As the great Carrie Bradshaw once said:
SO goodbye 20’s and goodbye to too many nights out, too many drinks, too much spending, too many toxic relationships, and too many dreams given up. Hello 30’s, I’ve been waiting for you.
Here are 30 Lessons that I have learned in 30 years:
School matters, forcing yourself into a degree that you hate because other people told you that “you won’t be able to find a job, you won’t make any money doing that” is a HUGE mistake
2. Stop trying to be friends with every person you meet. Not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone is going to be a good friend. Be picky with your friends like everything else in your life.
3. Go out and have a good time but know your limits, especially when you’re drinking. It will let you have more fun and have less bad memories of things that happened that you regret.
4. Spend more money on traveling than on boyfriends, clothes, and material possessions.
5. If you have a passion hold onto it, because it’s all about muscle memory and once it’s gone you’ll have to start all over again.
6. In your early 20’s the things that happen won’t matter when you’re in your mid 20’s. The things that happen in your mid 20’s won’t matter in your late 20’s. You won’t put up with the same bulls*t you put up with in your early and mid 20’s, and that’s okay. You’re human and you’re changing.
7. Read more, go outside more, enjoy the sun, enjoy your health while you can because in an instant your good health can be taken away and your entire world can change.
8. You might think that your life is horrible but things could always be worse so enjoy the little annoying stressful things that happen and be thankful that, those are the only things you’re going through.
9. Contact your grandmother weekly, talk to your parents a few times a week, and reach out to other people you love as much as you can. They won’t be around forever.
10. Hold onto your high school best friend and never let her go, because when you’re 30 and are planning your wedding she is going to be one of the best people to have by your side..besides your groom.
11. Don’t get married until you’re at least 30. Also if you’ve been married more than once it’s okay, it’s normal, don’t feel guilty or ashamed.
12. Take care of your skin, take care of your body, and pay attention to what you put inside of it. Remember “You are what you eat”.
13. Stand up for yourself, at home, at work, in public, at school.. anywhere you are being bullied or treated poorly.
14. If your “fight or flight” response is stronger than ever, it means that you need to walk away from whatever is causing you anxiety. TRUST YOUR BODY.
15. If your friends or people you surround yourself with are making you feel guilty, are stressing you out, are not letting you be alone when you need your alone time, if they talk about one another behind their backs, if there is always drama when you’re with them, if you don’t feel like yourself when you’re with them…it’s okay to move on. Nothing is worse than surrounding yourself with people who bring you down when you can be around people that lift you up. Don’t follow the crowd, be your own person, do what you want to do and good friends that have similar interests and morals will come later.
16. Cheating is NEVER the answer. It will only hurt that person and will make you feel guilty. Always put yourself into someone else’s shoes before you make what could be the biggest mistake of your entire life.
17. Study abroad, and do whatever you can to enjoy yourself. When you do travel, travel like a local don’t travel like a tourist.
18. Lay on the beach topless, or naked. It’s the most freeing experience you’ll ever have.
19. You can literally work through anything, food poisoning, a fever of 101, a cold, Pneumonia.. but just because you can doesn’t mean you should and doesn’t mean that you should be forced to. Stand up for yourself at work!
20. If you’re a creative person, HOLD ONTO IT! Make Youtube videos, paint, sing, write, draw or do whatever makes your soul happy and use that when you’re stressed.
21. Don’t open yourself up to everyone you meet, keep your walls up because not everyone wants the best for you and some people will tear you down any chance they can.
22. Friends come and go but family is forever. Having a few long distance best friends is better than having local friends that are toxic.
23. Say No. Say it loud and proud. Say No when you’re not comfortable with something because in the end you need to make yourself happy instead of always pleasing other people by saying Yes.
25. If people are competing with you, it’s not flattery, it’s toxic. Run away.
24. Be honest with yourself and your own feelings and listen to your body. It will tell you when things aren’t going right, it will tell you that you need to run away, it will tell you when things are wrong.
25. Travel as much as you can. Explore as much as you can. Go to festivals and concerts, try new food, meet new people, learn about other cultures and do whatever you can to connect yourself with other people in this small world.
26. Age is far more than just a number. If you’re 30 and you want to drink year old wine with your 22 year old friend Betty who is in the club doing lines of coke, then that’s where you’ll always be. Surrounded by young problems with young people, drinking some pretty bad wine. Instead try upgrading your wine to a fine aged bottle and swap out your friend Betty for an adult who reads books, who goes on hikes, and who was older than 5 years old when N*SYNC was hitting the screens of MTV in homes everywhere.
27. Always listen to your body because 9/10 times you know more than your doctors. I have seen specialists and have had tests run at so many hospitals I can’t remember their names. In 2 years time I had been to over 50 doctor appointments and have been told that I’m “fine” or it’s just my allergies or “it’s just your anxiety” when I would feel dizzy and get anaphylaxis from being around fragrances. Well I did my research and it turns out that I have MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity) that is a REAL thing that millions of people deal with. I was right. The doctors were wrong. We moved across country to Colorado (one because my fiancé loves it here but also) because the doctors here UNDERSTAND. Now I’m seeing an amazing team that trusts me, that believes me, that holistically and traditionally treats me and I’m getting better.
30. If you change, if your view of God changes, if your spirituality changes, if your style changes, if your taste changes, if your friends change, if your relationship changes, if your dream job changes, if your sexuality changes, if your view of your relationships change, if every single thing around you changes, it’s okay. We change because we’re human, everything about us is different (or should be) than 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 or even 20 years ago. Be different and embrace the changes that life is throwing your way, embrace this new person that this beautiful life is molding you into.